John Crist and Aaron Chewning are Christian music record executives, trying to sign their newest discovery, The Cross Trainers.
Written by John Crist, produced by Aaron Chewning. John Crist is a standup comedian. Visit http://www.johncristcomedy.com for more videos, bio and live tour dates.
source
Now, do one on Christian movies.
Newsboys was the very first live show I ever went to. 1998, 4th grade with my buddy Eddie. I still have an autographed guitar pick from that night. Haha
I don't listen to Christian music, but there are some rock genres one that I liked a lot. They were actually unique and you would never guess that it was Christian until you listened to the lyrics. Most of it though makes me want to claw my brain out and die of embarrassment that this is my religion 🙂
That was great!
Freewill on their part in the music industry
That "sloppy wet kiss line", that song was a regular for a while at one of my old churches, not gonna lie it was a little uncomfortable singing along to that as an adolescent
I hate how accurate this video is. Honestly, these are the reasons I immediately skip every christian song I hear
McWorship for the McChristian.
I am a Friend of God
He calls me Friend
FYI Catholics do not "pray to saints". We ask them to intercede on our behalf. If you don't understand that, perhaps you should refrain from mocking Catholics.
Love it!..truth
???
I love how this identifies everything that's wrong with Christian music.
Three chords ??
100% accurate
I agree with some of what they are saying but i think there is a lot of water references across all genres of music and if Christian music is more prone to using them it’s probably because the Bible uses these metaphors too. We should really just call it Christian “pop” music. Secular has a lot of the same issues as mainstream Christian music does. That’s my perspective.
Oh, and no melody. Just chords and shallow words sort of, you know, sung. No harmony. But lots of drums, electric guitars and coloratura. Oh wait. What's coloratura?
Notice that there’s no John mark McMillan comments
John Mark McMillan LOL!
?
As a worship musician this is hilarious. It has been quite the track the last 12 years watching things come into what they are now. I used to be in a band but now it’s backing tracks featuring a band, lol
On point ?
OMGosh! That was the funniest skit ?
Why does every modern Christian singer wear a beanie and a Jean jacket.
This is perfect!
Comics are the new preachers.
TRUTH
MORE WATER REFERENCES ??
I thoroughly enjoyed the guitar randomly popping up, disappearing, then re-turn….wait a minute ?
It’s a pretty good (and rare) attempt to address this. I see this video is at least 5 years old. And sadly, Christian’s are still churning out dross. They haven’t listened. They won’t listen. It’s a tragedy.
Here is, off the top of my head, made up lyrics that could easily actually be a “hit” (????!!!!) “worship song” popular with all those wearers of skinny jeans and sneakers.
It’s called Wind of the World (You blow me away)
Forever, forever,
Though the rain beats down
And the storm surrounds,
Together, together,
You will hold my hand,
And dry my eyes,
You’ll shield me through the pain,
In my darkest place,
I need you, I need you,
I call out now,
I need you, I need you,
The time is now,
Come through the storm
To lift me up
Under my hairy armpits
Under my hairy armpits.
Moving, moving,
Through the crowds of life,
You’re my sacrifice.
In the winter,
When the boughs hang low,
With crisp white snow
You make me sing again
And I feel your wind blow strong.
So strong…
So strong…
Wooah, wooah, wooah,
You’re my ark and I’m your Noah,
Wooah, wooah, wooah,
You’re my ark and I’m your Noah,
Come and flood my world!
I need you, I need you,
I call out now,
I need you, I need you,
The time is now,
Come through the storm
To lift me up
Under my hairy armpits
Under my hairy armpits.
I want you, I need you,
I call out now,
I need you, I want you,
The time is now,
Come through the storm
To lift me up
Under my hairy armpits
Under my hairy armpits.
I know you’ll never let me down…
Wind of the world!
Wind of the world!
Wind of the world!
Wind of the world!
Wind of the world!
Wind of all the world!
Come and blow me away.
You can blow me away.
Come and blow me away.
You can blow me away.
You can blow me away.
My wind of the world.
My wind of the world.
——
Okay – now all you have to do is get two electric guitars, a bass guitar, a drummer in a box and a keyboard player with one of those high scissor stands, and get them to stand on a darkened stage and play something syncopated, repetitive, bland, tuneless and creatively inept for people to wail hopelessly over the top of.
And there you have it. Today’s “Christian worship”. Groundless, baseless, unbiblical, godless, embarrassing, irrelevant crap. Exactly what all today’s 20-somethings are lapping up.
What a tragedy. May the Lord raise up true worshippers who inspire others to worship Him alone, in Spirit and truth.
….ok but imma still praise You in this storm
This is why i dont listen to much Christian music anymore. Still like skillet though
A,D,G….
The Holy Trinity of Christian music………
HILARIOUS!!!!
As someone who stopped listening to unoriginal trash cliche recycled Christian music, I'm glad I did
As someone whose not a Christian and hasn't been for over a decade… I knew every artist mentioned. I also went to an actual Newsboys concert. Met them in person and still have a photo of me with the OG lead singer and all their autographs. An agnostic athiest… yet I still listen to Christian music as a weird guilty pleasure.
I love ? this sadly, too true. Christian music is so predictable ???
Prayer for Salvation of Others?
Heavenly Father, I thank you that it is Your will for "all men to be saved and to come into the knowledge of the truth" (1 Tim 2:4). I also thank you that you are long suffering to us-ward not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance" ( 2 Peter 3:9). I bind and tie up Satan and all evil spirits in man (Put a name here if for specific individual) in the name of Jesus (Mt 16:19; Mt 12:29).
I loose and untie Satan's blinders which have " blinded the minds of them which do not believe" and I command the light of the glorious gospel of Christ to shine into to them to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ (2 Cor 4:4,6; Isaiah 45:12). I thank You as I am praying with strong desire out of urgent need that you send forth laborers into Your harvest (Mt 9:38) to preach the gospel (Rom 10:13-15).
I thank you that "the entrance of Your word gives light bringing understanding to those hearing the gospel (Psalm 119:130). I thank you that the Holy Spirit is convicting them "of the sin of not believing on Jesus as Lord and Savior" (John 16:19). I thank you for sending angels to continually minister to them and bring laborers across their path continually until they receive Jesus as Lord and be born again. ( Mt 26:53; Heb 1:14) I thank you for the Salvation of the multitudes and the great harvest of souls that are being born again these last days, in Jesus name, Amen
Scripture References
1Tim 2:4 who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of truth
II Peter 3:9 NKJV
The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance
Matthew 16:19 NKJV
And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”
Matthew 12:29 NKJV
Or how can one enter a strong man’s house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man? And then he will plunder his house.
II Corinthians 4:4 NKJV
whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them
II Peter 3:9 NKJV
The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance
Isaiah 45:11 NKJV
Thus says the LORD, The Holy One of Israel, and his Maker: “Ask Me of things to come concerning My sons; And concerning the work of My hands, you command Me.
Matthew 9:38 NKJV
Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.”
Romans 10:13-15 NKJV
For “whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.” How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, Who bring glad tidings of good things!”
Psalms 119:130 NKJV
The entrance of Your words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple
John 16:9 NKJV
of sin, because they do not believe in Me
Matthew 26:53 NKJV
Or do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will provide Me with more than twelve legions of angels?
Hebrews 1:14
New King James Version
14 Are they not all ministering spirits sent forth to minister for those who will inherit salvation?
Sad how it's no longer about God but marketing and targeting. This is why read the Bible and sing God's word to Him. This is funny but sad how true it is.
I remember Christian radio being super diverse when I was a kid. But nowadays, every song sounds pretty much the same :/
Christian music is trash!